The lighter side of project management

A recent KM project I started at a Fortune 100 company -- ok, Fortune 10 company, let's call it MegaTelOpoly -- began with fresh optimism. I had the same optimism last week when I packed the family into the big-ass urban assault vehicle and headed down Interstate 10 from New Orleans, to the sugary-white sands of Florida's Emerald Coast, for a short working vacation on the way to a speaking gig in Atlanta.

What could stop us? The skies were clear, we had a couple of cases of canned lemonade and soft drinks in one of those 80-gallon coolers with 50 bags of ice in it, and turkey sandwiches to boot.

We were on-plan and on-budget, sailing through the first 150 miles like nothing, didn't even stop at the first cluster of factory outlet stores. Then, suddenly, just before Mobile (Alabama, for you Yanks) -- a drop-dead traffic jam. As we inched along, we happened across a trucker, who was eyeing my wife's legs from his perch, and asked him what the hold-up was. "Construction. Backed up for six miles."

That was the first major roadblock in the project.

And you can count on it, no matter what the project. There will be roadblocks. Exactly like the KM project I'm working on. Seems as though MegaTelOpoly had made another $50 billion acquisition in a surprise move, and still hadn't met the impending deadlines for the previous MegaTel-International Joint Venture. Suddenly, it was as though my Project Manager contact had been eaten alive by a rare shark attack in shallow waters. No sign of him -- just voice mail (a leg floating in the water) and unreturned e-mails (a piece of a souvenir T-shirt washed ashore).

So, I waited patiently and mulled over revised project plans while I worked on a new project (MegaTransport), and watched my kid striking out at Little League games for a month. Just quiet diversion -- like the sudden U-turn I took, stunning the children, four-wheeling across the highway median and into oncoming traffic to head back to the Dairy Queen at the last exit. Nothing like M&M Blizzards and chocolate malts to cool things down!

This little trip to DQ was like the first Project Pizza Party. It's supposed to be a happy, informal meeting where serious issues are discussed, but people are sitting around in jeans on the floor with tomato sauce on their face, positioning themselves for a possible Project Romance, pretending nothing's awry. Yick! The thought of programmers mating!

After this short diversion, where nothing is really accomplished except some team-building commiseration, its back into the fray, back into the traffic jam.

We sat there inching along for an hour and a half, playing Categories ('Plants!… Countries!… Dangerous animals!…') and singing kiddie songs that occupy time and get their mind off of peeing.

So, too, did the re-starting of the project at MegaTelOpoly have the feeling of marking time, but now, with a new Project Manager. This one, promised to be able to handle the workload, promptly announced that she'd be on the road for 80% of the time for the next two weeks. "Hey, I'll just take the ball and run with it, and keep you in the loop with e-mails," I said, remembering I was getting paid only to achieve milestones. After her agreement, I charged ahead with rapid-fire calls to those that could clue me in on their operating environment and system objectives.

Soon, we were in Pensacola, our feet in the warm sand, with the kids chasing waves as the sun set. Progress. Milestone.

"Ahhhh. Here we are. No stopping us now," I said to myself, as I breathed the salty mist of the sea air.

But there will be obstacles, so you can plan on it, and you might as well build them in to your project plans and timetables. Put in a week buffer about every two months, just to account for those expected unexpected roadblocks